2017 ~ Alt Tuts

When you first walk into a Home Depot there’s always a stack of orange buckets by the entrance, and for the longest time I thought they were HD’s equivalent of a shopping basket. I’d haul that thing around just throwing screws and hardware into it, and then just put it next to the cash register when I was done. They’d always ask if I wanted the bucket too, and I just thought it was a clever way of selling more buckets. Only about a month ago did I realize they’re just buckets, and everyone at HD just thought I was mentally imbalanced.
When i was a kid, my grandfather and i built a model 1989 Batmobile together. We worked so hard to get it together. Neither of us having built models before it took hours. We finished up, and we had one green piece left. We looked through the instructions, looked all over the model. Could NOT figure it out. Finally i went a got my grandma to see if she could figure it out. She came in, took one look at it and

It was the top of the super glue. We had forgotten to re cap the super glue

My grandfather died a few years ago...i STILL get shit for that moment 25 years later.

Good memories
I was at an ante-natal class with my wife when the instructor shared a tip for making sure you let your baby feed from each breast an equal amount - by taking it in turns, left/right, which one you start off with. How do you remember which you started with? You use a hair tie. A few minutes later, she remarked, "and don't forget to put the hair tie on your other wrist when you next do a feed."

To which I remarked, rather too audibly for a room of 20 strangers, "oooohh, you put it on your wrist!"

Oops. I was a bit slow that day. And many other days.
Those travel toothbrushes...

I always carried one on me and always wondered why they made one so tiny. Until one day on vacation with my gf I'm using it and she says "why don't you use it normally?" She then grabs the casing for the toothbrush and attaches it to the bottom of the brush...

Mindblown
That the pockets on suit coats/blazers, etc. and back pockets of slacks are (loosely) stitched closed and meant to be cut open. I spent a solid four years of my life as a pissed off pragmatist- "why the fuck would you put pockets just for show? Those assholes"

One day, a friend heard my incessant bitching and goes, "you know you just make a small snip and pull the thread out- then the pockets are accessible."

Goes to closet, snips open pockets... "well fuck me."

Edit: Simultaneously we have some going, "oh!" and fashionistas going "Dear God do you realize what you've done!?"
Joggers have sweatbands on their wrists to wipe sweat from their forehead.

Edit: Yes, athletes use them to keep their hands drier, but runners primarily need to keep sweat from running (ha!) into their eyes
Went into a store and purchased a nice suit for work but forgot to bring the coupon I was going to use. I asked about it while checking out and the girl told me she's sorry but can't help me. She then placed the same coupon on the counter and asked if I had dropped it. I must have been distracted because I denied that it was mine 3 times before I finally understood she was trying to be nice and give me a coupon. Felt really dumb.
I had no idea that salad spinners were to dry your salad. I thought they were to mix your salad dressing or some shit.

We got one as a wedding gift, so I loaded one up, dumped some dressing in, and spun a ton of the dressing off of the salad. This made me think the product was to apply dressing flavor to all of your salad bits, without dealing with all the calories that can come from overloading on dressing. So naturally I thought it was a total waste of time and money, and tossed it into a cabinet never to be used again.

A year goes by, and I see a comment on Reddit about salad spinners and how they are such a game changer and so worth it, and I thought people were just batshit insane.

Nope. I'm the idiot here. They're to dry your washed salad bits so you have nice, crisp, not-soggy salad. I had no idea, and the box sure as hell didn't tell me that.
Pipe cleaners. When I was a kid they were used for crafts and stuff and I just figured that they were used to clean, like, kitchen pipes. In my kid brain that kinda made sense. As I grew up I just never thought about it again really.

Then one day in college I decide cigars are expensive and pipe tobacco seems much cheaper overall, plus the rustic feel of a man on his porch reading with a tobacco pipe always appealed to me for some reason. So I went out and bought a cheap tobacco pipe and while I was checking out the cashier asked me if I wanted pipe cleaners...the scales just dropped from my eyes. It took 20+ years to learn that pipe cleaners were used to clean, you know, pipes.

Edit: glad to share the experience of enlightenment with you fine folk
I bought a used pickup truck in the late 90's that had an electronic key fob like any car these days. It had a couple other buttons as well that when pressed did nothing. I asked about it at the dealership and they told me it was probably for a remote start that wasn't hooked up. After two years of driving that truck around in cold Chicago winters, I sold the truck to my brother when I bought my first new car. One day while talking to him he started the car up with the remote starter. I stared in complete shock as he explained that you have to hold the button down.

With the amazing opening function in Hyderabad the tenth release of IPL has at long last started. Recently Shahrukh Khan was seen in Rajkot cheering for his group. Not surprisingly he didn’t come alone to cheer for his group. Alongside him his cute child AbRam Khan additionally came to watch the intriguing match.

Father child pair were perched on the stands. Yesterday was the third day of IPL matches. The match was between Kolkata Knight Riders and Gujarat Lions. Shahrukh was seen putting forth a design expression in the match too. While he was wearing a KKR group cap child AbRam Khan was wearing a polo shirt. In any case, that was not what got everyone’s consideration. AbRam ‘s somewhat obvious tattoo turned into the focal point of consideration.

It is a similar one that Shahrukh has for his character in Imtiaz Ali’s directorial whose name has still not been finished.

Shahrukh and his child’s cheering worked for the group as KKR won the match against Gujarat Lions. Before coming to Rajkot, he was occupied in Punjab shooting for Imtiaz Ali’s directorial film. Anushka Sharma is trying the part of her woman cherish in the film. He was found in another look wearing a Turban. What’s more, we couldn’t get over his new Sardar look.

Taking about his cute child AbRam Khan SRK’s better half Gauri Khan continues transferring his delightful pics on Internet. Like his dad he has likewise overwhelmed the Internet. A couple days back Gauri Khan shared a ridiculous pic of AbRam Khan and inscribed it “That minute when you get acknowledged for being a decent Mummy!”